Pretty much since I moved into this new place I’ve been trying to get my bike working again. The problem is the rear wheel, specifically the axle. The rear wheel keeps going loose and wobbly, which never seems to be particularly safe to me.

I kept buying this piece and that piece in order to fix it. I bought a new axle, but it turned out not to come with bearings. I buy a set of bearings, only to discover none of my spanners actually fit the nuts on the axle. New spanner set, and then I find I can’t remove the freewheel. A new freewheel spanner thingy, and again none of my spanners fit it. I buy an adjustable spanner, and the freewheel just doesn’t budge. Finally, I get some WD40, and the freewheel comes off! Hoorah! I now oficially have everything I need.

Except I can’t get the damn axle to work. The wheel is supposed to turn without turning the axle, and more specifically, without turning the various screw-on parts that then creep up the axle sending the wheel steadily towards the right, away from the left-hand bearing, thus making it wobbly again. No matter how much I lubricated it, no matter what way around I put the bearings in, it didn’t matter.

And now, the cone-shaped part that actually engages the bearings on the right-hand side won’t even go onto the axle. I can screw it down a little bit, but then it gets completely stuck, in a way that feels rather final. So I can’t even put it together again for another try.

I also managed to nearly lose one of the bearing rings through the gap between my floorboards and the skirting board. I managed to get it back, but I thought I might never see it again.

I’m too frustrated to do anything more with it, even to pack the bike up, despite the fact that it’s sitting right in the doorway to my living room, and is really rather inconvenient.

I’m just sick of this thing continually thwarting me, even as I keep overcoming each obstacle in turn. I think I’ve even lost the rear brakes, which I removed to take the rear wheel off.

Anyone know how to repair bikes? I can offer nothing more than a pathetic look of gratitude in return, however. But it will be particularly pathetic.